Artist: Frank Zappa
Title: You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)
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ENSEMBLE: (displaying Dummy #1)
Do you know what you are?
THING-FISH:
Dat what I ast ya!
ENSEMBLE:
You are what you is You is what you am
THING-FISH:
And DAT de trufe!
ENSEMBLE:
(A cow don't make ham...)
THING-FISH:
I meant dat now!
ENSEMBLE:
You ain't what you're not
THING-FISH:
Not even hardly...
ENSEMBLE:
So see what you got
THING-FISH:
And you got a lot o' lookin' t'do, junior!
ENSEMBLE:
You are what you is
THING-FISH:
Dat entirely TOO CORRECT!
ENSEMBLE:
An' that's all it 'tis!
THING-FISH:
Uh-HUHHHH!
ENSEMBLE:
A foolish young man
THING-FISH:
Bring dat dummy ovuh heah 'n show it to 'em!
ENSEMBLE:
Stashed away in SAN QUENTIM Ate de mys'try potatoes
THING-FISH:
Told ya 'bout dem 'taters!
ENSEMBLE:
EVIL PRINCE was inventin' Now he talk like de THING-FISH
THING-FISH: (manipulating the dummy)
("Hmmmm, Saffiiiee!")
ENSEMBLE:
An' he look like a MAMMY!
THING-FISH: (manipulating the dummy)
("See de mammy, now! See de mammy, now!")
ENSEMBLE:
His fav'rit CO-LOG-NUMM...
THING-FISH:
Smell like...
SISTER POTATO HEAD BOBBY BROWN, SISTER GHENGHIS ADONIS
OSMOSIS, SISTER JASMINE NOXEMA TAPIOCA:
CHITLINS!
ENSEMBLE:
Is de one dey call 'SAMMY'!
THING-FISH:
One-Adam-Twelve...see de mammy...
ENSEMBLE:
He finally layin'
THING-FISH:
Armed 'n dangerous, reproach wit cautium!
ENSEMBLE:
De whole thang down, 'Cept de NIVEA LOTIUM!
THING-FISH:
Rub it on good, now!
ENSEMBLE:
An de ROYAL CROWN!
THING-FISH:
Take good care o' dat "ASH"!
ENSEMBLE:
Do you know what you are?
THING-FISH:
You's a wimp...she's a shrew!
ENSEMBLE:
You are what you is
THING-FISH:
Got dat?
ENSEMBLE:
You is what you am
THING-FISH:
One-Adam-Twelve, see de mammy agin'!
ENSEMBLE:
(A cow don't make ham...)
THING-FISH:
And it never will...
ENSEMBLE:
You ain't what you're not,
THING-FISH:
Unless SCIENCE do somethin' 'bout it!
ENSEMBLE:
So see what you got!
THING-FISH:
I KNOW dey woikin' on it...
ENSEMBLE:
You are what you is,
THING-FISH:
Underneath VIRGINIA!
ENSEMBLE:
An' that's all it 'tis!
THING-FISH:
BOOG-BOOGMMM, Dano..."MAMMY ONE"! They toss dummy #1 into the
wings, an d introduce dummy #2 to HARRY & RHONDA. Their torture-chairs,
(on a rolling platform), are wheeled to center stage. The action takes place
all around them.
ENSEMBLE: (showing Dummy #2)
A foolish young man
Of de negro persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He trade his dashiki
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON: (manipulating the dummy)
("Uhuru!")
ENSEMBLE:
For some Jordache Jeans!
He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself:
"I AIN'T NO..."
THING-FISH:
"NIGNINT!"
ENSEMBLE:
NO MORE...HEY! HEY! HEY!"
THING-FISH:
One-Adam-Twelve, see de "NIGNINT" wit knife... proceed wif cautium...knife
may be open...
ENSEMBLE:
BWANA MA-COO-BAH
HARRY:
All Right! Let's go!
ENSEMBLE:
MERCEDES BAINNNZZZZZ!
ENSEMBLE:
Who is who?
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON: (singing)
I don't know...
ENSEMBLE:
'N what is what
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Somethin' I just don't know...
ENSEMBLE:
'N why is this
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Tell me now...
ENSEMBLE:
Appropriot
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
That's a funny pronunciation, If'n ever I heard one!
ENSEMBLE:
If you don't like
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Where'd you get that word?
ENSEMBLE:
What you has got
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Appropriot? The word is not!
ENSEMBLE:
Drop it in the dirt
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Drop it, yeah!
ENSEMBLE:
'N let it rot
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I can smell it now!
ENSEMBLE:
Someone else
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Here de come, here de come!
ENSEMBLE:
Will surely come
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I told you he was comin'!
ENSEMBLE:
'N pick it up
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
That's right!
ENSEMBLE:
'Cause he wants some
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
An' he wants it for free!
ENSEMBLE:
And when one day
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
There will come a day!
ENSEMBLE:
You wonder who
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I wonder too!
ENSEMBLE:
You used to was
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Who I was, anyway!
ENSEMBLE:
'N what you do
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I used to work at the post office!
ENSEMBLE:
You'll scratch your head
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
But I don't wanna un-do my doo!
ENSEMBLE:
'N look around
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
To see what's goin' on!
ENSEMBLE:
But what you lost
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Can't seem to find it!
ENSEMBLE:
Will not be found
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
A Mercedes Benz!
ENSEMBLE:
Do you know what you are?
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I know!
ENSEMBLE:
You are what you is
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I'm the kinda guy...
ENSEMBLE:
You is what you am
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
That ought to be drivin'
ENSEMBLE:
A cow don't make ham
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
A four-fifty SLC...
ENSEMBLE:
You ain't what you're not
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
A big ol' RED ONE!
ENSEMBLE:
So see what you got
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk!
ENSEMBLE:
You are what you is
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin'!
ENSEMBLE:
An' that's all it is
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Gimme a five dollar bill!
ENSEMBLE:
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
And an overcoat too...
ENSEMBLE:
AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Where's my waitress, yeahhhh!
ENSEMBLE:
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
Robbie, take me to Greek Town!
ENSEMBLE:
AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I'm harder than yer husband; Harder than yer husband!
ENSEMBLE:
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club, y'all!
ENSEMBLE:
AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
I'm goin' down 'n work the wall! 'N work the floor
ENSEMBLE:
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:
'N work the pipe, 'N work the wall some more!
ENSEMBLE:
AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS
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