It's just another Saturday Hanging out at DBA All I came for was whisky and a bunch of pints I have a drink or two or three And I feel like I'm on TV 'Cause some girl across the bar is giving me the evil eye I make a move to see what's up and bump right into some dump jock The guy gets pissed and he throws his drink right in my face Well now he started, but I'll finish But first I'll have another Guinness Fighting's such a boring thing I gave it up, I always win Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life Drinking, smoking, screwing, right! Don't tell me how to live my life! Another guy, another day. Why won't this guy just go away Talk my ear off and I don't want to smell your breath You like my band, I understand When you say, "I love you man" Can't I have just a minute to go take a piss? The he asks me if I'm saved And do I walk with God each day No way man, I have always been down with sin He tells me God loves all of us as I get back on the bus 'Cause God just told me I was gonna get my dick sucked! Good for you, you're born again Yuppie Young Republican Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life Drinking, smoking, screwing, right! Don't tell me how to live my life! Being straight makes you happy Stay the fuck away from me So you're gay, oh happy day And you don't smoke, that's just great And eating meat, oh God forbid You'll be more fun when you're dead Another time, far away, I'm in Tampa, FLA I saw my friends and we went out and got really drunk Got in the car and drove around and passed the Yankees training ground We drove up close and then I went and hopped the fence I ran around the bases twice and thought the on-deck mat was nice I put it back though and ran back out to meet my friends The cops were there, they saw the tape Straight to jail at any rate Three month later Howard Stern got George to drop the case! Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life Drinking, smoking, screwing, right! Don't tell me how to live my life!