[ Предположительная тональность: G ] Intro: G Em G Em G Em When you people think of Christmas G Em You think of presents under that pine G Em All I can think of are your spoiled brats C D And working over time G Em I get out one night a year G Em It's lonely and cold in this snow G Em And Mrs. Clause ran off with an elf and gave C D A new meaning to "Ho Ho Ho" C I've made my list D I'm checking it twice G D/F# Em And checking it twice more C So I don't forget what I like to sip D When I head to liquor store G D/F# Em D Tis the season to be jolly C D Sure, if you're not me G D/F# Em D My reindeer they get gassy C D And I'm downwind constantly Em C Keep the milk and cookies G D I'll take aspirin and whiskey G D/F# Em D Tis the season to be jolly C D G Sure, if you're not me G Em Going out without being recognized G Em Gets harder every year G Em Only place I fit in are hipster bars C D Where everyone's got suspenders and beards G Em Kids ask me for new siblings G Em Bad news little Jill and Tom G Em There's nothing left in Santa's sack, if you know what I mean C D But I'll gladly meet your mom C I'm sick of lists D From stupid kids G D/F# Em With nothing but sugarplums in their heads C C'mon you jabronies, how many ponies D Do you think I can fit in this sled? G D/F# Em D Tis the season to be jolly C D Sure, if you're not me G D/F# Em D My reindeer they get gassy C D And I'm downwind constantly Em C Keep the milk and cookies G D I'll take aspirin and whiskey G D/F# Em D Tis the season to be jolly C D G Sure, if you're not me BREAK G Em And people think I'm just a dirty old man G Em You think I like having kids on my lap? G Em They squirm too much and sometimes I scare them C D 'Til their Huggies fill up with crap G Em And when I ask, "What's your name, little boy?" G Em I hope it's Mikey, Johnny, or Steve G Em And not "I'm Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator" C D On Dateline NBC........Uhh that elf swore she was 18! G D/F# Em D Tis the season to be jolly C D Sure, if you're not me G D/F# Em D My reindeer they get gassy C D And I'm downwind constantly Em C Keep the milk and cookies G D I'll take aspirin and whiskey G D/F# Em D Tis the season to be jolly C D G Sure, if you're not me G D/F# Em D Tis the season to be jolly C D G Sure, if you're not me G D/F# Em D Tis the season to be jolly C D G Sure, if you're not me
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