[Verse 1] This morning it occurred to me I might not look quite like a natural blonde And I couldn't help but feel conned The picture on the packet showed A model with no baggage Promising wild sex and marriage With a big colour chart wand [Verse 2] This morning it occurred to me I never will quite have a supermodel's legs (Never in a million years!) Unless I cut each one in half Become half an octopus The two become synonymous With cocaine glamour Riches, beauty and crack [Pre Chorus] I took a trip to the National Gallery for Something more refreshing in what Rubens saw [Chorus] My supermodel's legs Think they were plucked from a Ruben-esque world (Oh oh, oh oh) My supermodel's legs Look pretty crap on a five-foot-four girl (Oh oh ohh) [Hook] Women men and in-betweens Why don't you just stop dieting? Go bake! Eat cake! Go cheer! Drink beer! Worrying is boring [Verse 3] If people said "eat loads of cake" You wouldn't want much anyway And then you would stuff your face And look like King Henry the Eighth Instead we're told off every day For living our lives the wrong damn way "Suck my left one"'s what I say If I want six coffees a day [Hook] Women me and in-betweens Why don't you just stop dieting? Go bake! Eat cake! Go cheer! Drink beer! Worrying is boring me [Pre Chorus] Oh I get more turned on by big cupcakes than heroin Not 'rock and roll' and much more 'Mary Poppins' [Chorus] Oh supermodel's legs They never carry much weight in my world (Oh oh, oh oh) Oh supermodel's legs Cause women should be women Girls should be allowed to be girls (Oh oh, oh oh) (Too right!)
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