[Horace:] Countess, you're my pal. Hey, we gotta celebrate! [Countess:] What? [Horace:] Yeah, first to Montmartre! Then the Moulin Rouge! The Folies Bergere! [Countess:] Not at all.... [Horace:] Not Montmartre? [Countess:] No. [Horace:] Not the Moulin Rouge? [Countess:] No. [Horace:] Not the Folies Bergere?! [Countess:] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They are [1st refrain:] Only for Americans The midnight life in gay Paree The Frenchman he would never see It's only for Americans The prices in the smart cafe The Frenchman he would never pay The price that's more is only for Americans from the U.S.A. A Montmartre lady drops her hanky And slyly winks her eye That's only for the Yankee The Frenchman wouldn't buy Only for Americans The Frenchmen on the boulevards Don't buy those dirty postal cards They're only for Americans The little holes for peeping through To see what naughty people do The French would bore, they're only for Americans from the U.S.A. [2nd refrain:] Only for Americans The shops with many real antiques Antiques as old as seven weeks They're only for Americans The bed on which a king made love Which there are sev'ral dozen of The French pooh pooh, we sell them to Americans from the U.S.A. Those old Napoleon brandy labels That recently were made They're not for Frenchmen's tables They're for the Yankee trade Only for Americans The Frenchman gets his kisses free But those for which there is a fee Are only for Americans You'll find two prices on a dress One that is extremely less The price that's more is only for Americans from the U.S.A. [3rd refrain:] Only for Americans A Frenchman's food is very plain Those fancy sauces with ptomaine Are only for Americans A Frenchman seldom eats the snails With little ulcers on their tails And all that cheese was made to please Americans from the U.S.A. While the American carouses Where crimson shadows creep The French avoid those houses They go to bed to sleep Only for Americans A Frenchman wouldn't be impressed To see a show with girls undressed That's only for Americans The French don't go to naked shows They've seen what's underneath the clothes And each encore is only for Americans from the U.S.A. [4th refrain:] Only for Americans The Frenchmen don't keep company With south of France society That's only for Americans The Frenchman hasn't large amounts To pay for Barons, Dukes and Counts That you adore, they're only for Americans from the U.S.A. We like to keep the good relations That nothing must upset We give you decorations That Frenchmen seldom get Only for Americans Our finest art is in the Louvre The ones the experts don't approve Are only for Americans We keep an artist by the gate To sign the paintings while you wait Before they're dry, they're purchased by Americans from the U.S.A. [alternate bridge in 2nd REFRAIN:] We buy your worn out mink and sables And fix them up like new Then simply change the labels And sell them back to you [alternate ending:] Only for Americans The season starts, they come to town They turn the city upside down We use their Yankee Doodle dough To clean up Paris when they go But we can't do without them We're simply mad about them The Americans The Americans The Americans from the U.S.A.