G, D, G, D, etc... Well, I went down to Mos Eisley for a converter G D Hell, ya know how hot it gets on Tatooine G D Well then I saw that there cantina G C D I'll go in for an Orangina G C I heard it was rough but how bad could it be? D C G Well I walked through the door and the music stopped--dead G D G All manner of man and beasts were starin' at me G D G Seems just one week before their Twi'lek slave girl walked out the door C D G C And I guess I was the next best thing they'd seen D C G I lost more than my heart in that cantina G D G I left my manhood there on Tatooine C D G Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek C D G C But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man! D C G I was hit over the head by ol' Han Solo I'da never guessed that pirate was a homo I woke up next to Chewbacca I was smeared in Wookie caca And what they did to my poor nipples was a no-no! Ol' Greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie And he yanked that sucker til it wasn't so teenie He pulled me into Jabba's hut He stared intently at my butt And then he oota-toota'ed me with his zucchini I lost more than my heart in that cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man! Well, a guy walked up and said "My friend doesn't like you." I said 'Sorry.' He said 'I don't like you either, you better watch your self!' - I think his name was Tom Waits And then some old dude who taught Vader Chopped his arm off with a sabre That later made for one red hot anal invader - owwwww I was broken on the floor beat to a stupor Then I was saved! There at the door were 10 storm troopers! But then my hope faded away, I didn't know they cloned 'em gay And they each took turns storm troopin' me in the pooper I lost more than my heart in that cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek Which is why I still go there every week!