5 Poofs And 2 Pianos
Note: this is not mine, I found it on an internet forum, if you tabbed it a) thanks b) sorry c) your an idiot to post it on a forum and not expect it to be shared about a bit. Thanks! (A) E/G# Obviously I don't want to infer that being invited onto Friday Night with Wossy F#m E isn't wonderfully affirming, and I know I oughta A appreciate the risk you took, the bookers who agreed to book E/G# F#m E a chap who tends to talk about the kinda things that get the BBC in hot water. A6 And I don't want to seem greedy, I'm just saying (E) I'd like to be here every week if that's OK. Fo7(or E7b9/F) And, if you'll hear me out, I think I've got a way F#m E D in which we could do it pretty easily. E You can leave all the boring details to me. A6* Eadd2/A* F#m/A* It's a brilliant idea, a truly original concept. A6* Eadd2/A* E/B No one in Britain has ever done anything like it yet. Picture this - imagine if we had (A) E/G# F#m E D five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a wicked idea. A E/G# Why settle for a quartet of queers D/F# E When there's a possibility of a penta-poofter-piano-posse here? (A) E/G# F#m E D Five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it'll be ace: A E/G# D A a hundred percent more pianos and twenty five percent more gays. Pickup: E F# Ab (A) I know, I know, I've seen the problem too. (E/A) There's a rumour I am straight, it's true. (D/A) Dm It hurts to admit it, but I'm about as bent Dm as Wossy himself or Fiddy Cent. (A) But I've already thought it through. (E/A) D'you know there's preachers in America who reckon they can do D sexuality conversions. I've heard them assert D7 they can cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt. E7 Well I don't see why they couldn't pull the same trick in reverse, and we'd have - (A) E/G# F#m E D five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a revolution A E/G# and probably the best solution D E to the problem you're inevitably having with an even number of homosexuals. Pickup: E F# Ab (A) Yes I know your producers might suspect (E/A) that the licence-paying public will object (D/A) D to the Corporation having yet Dm another homosexual to pay. (A) The Daily Mail will bring the big guns out. (E/A) Jan Moir will be frothing at the mouth, (D/A) writing further brilliant stuff about (Dm) E the myth about being both happy and gay. F#m F#m/A F#m/C# But all that moral indignation D/F# A/E will disappear when they see D A those four lovely guys and me Bm E singing in perfect harmony. F#m/A And all those angry letter writers, D/A like 'Disgusted' from the Isle of Wight F#m/A and 'Mad' from Hull and 'Outraged' from Leeds E E7 Fo7 and 'Slightly Annoyed' from Berwick on Tweed, F#m E D will instantly change their tune. A E They'll be bleeding-heart liberals by Saturday noon. D They'll be giving their grandchildren up for adoption E E7 Fo7 in the hope that a gay married couple will adopt 'em. F They'll be putting rainbow stickers on their cars, G E (Bass line - A E F E G A) and cutting holes in the arse of their leather strides. And watching 2 pianos and 5 guys Watching 2 pianos and 5 guys G (picks up on the G in the bass line) Watching 2 pianos and five ..1, 2 ,3, 4, (C) G/B Am G F 5 poofs and 2 pianos - yeah, it'll be grand. C G/B F C You can never have too many pianos or too much man. (C) G/B Am F 5 poofs and 2 pianos - maybe we could out Jamie Cullum. G F C Make it a trio of pianos and a big gay half dozen.