Tip That Waitress
Tip That Waitress Loudon Wainwright III C She's been on her feet nearly half the damn night Am Bringing you beverage and your late night bite F She remains cheerful when you're nasty and tight G Makes change for a fifty in dim candlelight. C Ignoring your groping hoping you might Am F G Come across with a tip and sympathize with her plight. C Tip that waitress. Shes getting her masters supporting her mom Amidst the confusion she remains cool and calm She knows exits in case of a fire or bomb She knows all the words to the 23rd psalm She handles her tray with panache and aplomb Her brothers a Quaker, her dad was in Naa-aaa-aaa-aam Tip that waitress. Bridge 1 Em Tip that waitress, C She's been waiting on you. Em Skip the small change, G Slap down a dollar or two. Her arches are aching, her lower backs shot Her varicose vein hurts like hell when its hot Her uniform's too tight, tasteful its not She knows the specials and they are not a lot. The cook is on Qualudes the bus boy deals pot If she had a real job she'd quit on the spot G tip that waitress. Break> This plea for gratuity's gone on way too long, Theres a time and a place where them things belong The stage ain't a soap box, this is only a song, To dwell on the matter much more would be wrong. And people get by, she'll get along But I think she gets off when I come on Stro--ooo-ooo- ong G tip that waitress. Bridge 2 Tip that waitress, She's been waiting on you. Skip the small change, Slap down a fiver or two. She's been on her feet nearly half the damn night Bringing you beverage and your late night bite She remains cheerful when you're nasty and tight Makes change for a fifty in dim candlelight. Ignoring your groping hoping you might Come across with a tip and sympathize with her plight. Tip that waitress.