I'll remember forever, when I was but three, Mama, who was clever remarking to me: "If, son, when you're grown up, you want everything nice, I've got your future sewn up if you take this advice: Be a clown, Be a clown, All the world loves a clown Act the fool, play the calf And you'll always have the last laugh, Wear the cap and the bells And you'll rate with all the great swells, If you become a doctor, folks'll face you with dread, If you become a dentist, they'll be glad when you're dead, You'll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head. Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown! Be a clown, Be a clown, All the world loves a clown Be a crazy buffoon And the 'demoiselles'll all swoon, Dress in huge baggy pants And you'll ride the road to romance, A butcher or a baker ladies never embrace, A barber for a beau would be a social disgrace, They all'll come to call if you can fall on your face. Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown! Be a clown, Be a clown, All the world loves a clown Be the poor silly ass And you'll always travel first class, Give 'em quips, give 'em fun, And they'll pay to say you're A-1, If you become a farmer you've the weather to buck, If you become a gambler, you'll be stuck with your luck But jack you'll never lack if you can quack like a duck, Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown!