A: We want you to know before we do it that this does not Promote... um, promis...promiscuous sex, or anything like that, in Any way. We... This is sarcastic - we're putting down the meat Market, basically. E: It's not our philosophy on life, or anything. A: Yeah. Really. E: Of course, I wrote the words, you know, but... A: That's right. E (in mock drunken voice): I was SO WASTED, you know... Audience member: What are you trying to say? E (very straight): Nothing. We aren't saying a thing. We're Just talking. A: We're trying to say that, uh, we're not Madonna. (Laughs.) E: This is a dirty song. Hope y'all like it. (music begins.) E: Amy wrote the music. ----------------------- E (spoken): I walked into my favorite place one night; I just Got back from a lecture, and I was feeling kind of uptight. And at The end of the bar, there was this guy, and, you know, I wasn't Really looking, but I caught him out of the corner of my eye. The Next thing I know, he was moving my way - I thought he wanted to Talk, but this is what he had to say: A (sung): I don't know your name, babe But I want to be your lover. I don't know your name, babe But I want to be your lover. One time or another, baby - I want to be your lover. E: I have to admit, I was a little bit surprised, but I Wasn't really scared, 'cause I was twice his size. So I said to Myself, "Ok, I'll play his game...," and when he turned to me, I gave Him my name. A: I know your name, babe But I got to know your number. I know your name, babe But I got to know your number. I said, one time or another, baby - I'm gonna be your lover. E: Well, I said to myself, "This guy is persistent. He's a Little bit dumb, but at least he's consistent." I tried to talk Cool, but when we touched, I went under. I made a quick decision, And I gave him my number. A: I know your number But I don't know what to say, babe. E (effeminately): That's ok... A: I know your number But I don't know what to say, babe. Oh, it don't matter anyway, no - I don't talk when I'm making love to you I wanna be you lover... E: Well, you probably won't believe this, but we got married One day. And I still don't know if he speaks English, 'cause he Doesn't have much to say. It's a damn good thing I like lying around - we don't make much conversation - just love-making sounds. (Aside: You know what I'm talking about? Y'all KNOW what I'm talking about!) Well, one thing I've learned from being in this state - E & A (sung): There are other ways to communicate! A: I don't know your name, babe But I want to be your lover. I don't know your name, babe But I want to be your lover. One time or another, baby - I want to be your lover.