Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride
Half Man Half Biscuit
(intro) E G E G E G D E G E G E G D E G E G It was a natural state of affairs; it was a quiet ambition of hers E G E D She had a room overlooking the lawn; it was a perfect August morn E G E G And with a crossword clue in her head, "Origin of Species" read E G "King James" under the bed. D C D E No broken bones, no gaping wound about 10 centimetres wide C D E C D E No sword protruding from her side, it's just like Dr Forbes implied C D E G E G E G D Old age killed my teenage bride. E G E G She didn't care for adrenaline sports, never learned any difficult chords E G E D Did she ever have a scrap with a bear? If she did, I wasn't there E G E G And yesterday at a hundred and one, she had a shower, cup of tea and a scone E G And just as "Cash In The Attic" came on. D C D E Such sweet delight upon her face, no armed response team stood outside C D E C D E No torso washed upon the tide, it could not be more cut and dried C D E G E D E D E E G E G E G E G Old age killed my teenage bride. E G E G And when she reached her centenary year, they gathered round her wanting to hear E G E G All the tips on staying the course; she said "At 21 I got a divorce E G E G And I hold no particular creed, I've never coveted things I don't need E G E D Under ladders I walked without fuss 'cos it stopped me getting hit by a bus". C D E And she turned to the children at her side C D E And said "Take the good and the bad times in your stride" C D E And "Abseil for no-one", then she died C D E Seems old age killed my teenage bride D E D E Teenage bride, my teenage bride.