Artist: Frank Zappa Title: The Evil Prince -------------------------------- Well well well, now, dis de nasty sucker dat be respondable fo de enwhiffment o de origumal potium. Now in his infinate respondable party personage as de Evil Prince and through de magik o stage-kraft of course, wes about to see what gwine on in his magikal conjurance up of his little cauldrom of doom! Now check it on out now Somewhere, over there, I can tell, I guess so Theres the voice of A potato-headed whatchamacallit Whoo, do tell! Who does not wish me well! His clothes are quite stupid, And also his shoes! Ain't no bussiness like show business He's got a big ol duck-mouth! Who knows how he chews! He thinks he knows something About THE GREAT PLAN! How ULTIMATE BLANDNESS Must RULE and COMMAND He knows not a drop, Not a crumb, Not a whit, Of the reason for doing This criminal shit And then, if he did, Would it matter a bit? Not at all! Because IT IS WRIT: Our BEIGE-BLANDISH GOD Tends to CERTIFY IT: Only the boring and bland shall survive! Only the lamest of lameness will thrive! Take it or leave it, you wont be alive, If you are overtly CREATIVE! Fairies and faggots and queers are CREATIVE All the best music on Broadway is NATIVE Who will step forward And end all this trouble? For beige-blandish citizens, Clutching the rubble Of vanishing dreams Of wimpish amusement, Replaced by a rash Of CREATIVE confusement! Soon, my brave Zombies, Youll make your return! Broadway will glow! Broadway will burn! (Along with the remnants of EVERYTHING NEW) My HOLY DISEASE will do Wonders for you! Those lovely producers Who paid for you then Will do it again, and again, and again! The spying potato The spying potato With horrible diction And terrible diction Will rot in the garbage I can smell it right now When this shows eviction Takes place shortly after My alternate skill Of THEATRICAL SABOTAGE Triumphs YOUR will! I've a special review Yes I know you really do! I've been saving for years Yes I know you really have For a show just like this, For a really stupid show With POTATOES and QUEERS I'll say its disgusting, atrocious, and dull I'll say it makes boils inside of your skull I'll say its the worst -of-the-worst of the year, No wind down the plain, and its hard on your ear I'll say its the work of an infantile mind I'll say that its tasteless, and that you will find A better excuse to spend money or time At a Tupper-Ware Party, wee-oo So, do be a smarty! Oo-oo-wee-oo Hold on to that dollar A little while longer For spending it here, Why, it couldnt be wronger! WHATS HAPPENED TO BROADWAY? WHERES IT GONE, ALL THE GLITTER? THE HEART AND SOUL THE PATTER? THE PITTER? And after this deadly review hits the paper, In will come ROPER, BENDER & RAPER, To legally execute all that remains Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains Drug-addled brains, drug addled brains (solo) Hold on to that g-string A little while longer For spending it here, Why, it couldnt be wronger! WHATS HAPPENED TO BROADWAY? WHERES IT GONE, ALL THE GLITTER? THE HEART AND SOUL THE PATTER? THE PITTER? And after this deadly review hits the paper, In will come ROPER, BENDER & RAPER, To legally execute all that remains Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey, brai-hains . . .