Asshole --- Dennis Leary Chords are D, D/C, D/B, D/A or you can play A, A/G, A/F#, A/F Intro: Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream About you. About me. About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests. About that special feeling we get in the cocles (or watever) of our hearts. Maybe below the cocles. Maybe in the sub-cocle area. Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon. We don't know. Verse 1: I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job. I'm your avergage white, suburbanite slob. I like football and porno and books about war. I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor. My wife and my job, my kids and my car. My feet on my table with a Cuban cigar But sometimes that just ain't enough to a man like me interested No, I got to go out and have fun at someone else's expense I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane While people behind me are going insane Chorus: I'm an #@#@## I'm an @#@@#@ Verse 2: I use public toilets and I piss on the seat I walk around in the summertime sayin' how about this heat Chorus Verse 3: Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces Chorus Bridge: Em A Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song. Em A Ranting and raving and carrying on. Em A Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong.