Barbra Streisand - If A Girl Isn't Pretty - Текст песни

FUNNY GIRL is the life of vaudeville comedienne Fanny Brice (1891-1951), starting in 1910. 
Actually the show starts after she has become a success on stage and flashes back to her 
origins. It opens in Fanny's dressing room. She is waiting for her husband, Nick Arnstein, 
to return after being in prison. She looks back to when she was a 19-year old hopeful. 
Her mother's poker buddies think she's wasting her life trying to break into show business. 
 Mrs. Strakosh: 
 Fanny, when people pay good money in the the-ay-ter-- 
 especially the male element--they want something to look at! 

 If a girl isn't pretty 
 Like a Miss Atlantic City, 
 All she gets in life 
 Is pity and a pat. 
 Mrs. Brice: 
 Is a nose with deviation 
 Such a crime against the nation? 
 Should I throw her into jail 
 Or drown the cat? 
 Mrs. Strakosh, O' Malley and 
 Meeker: 
 She must shine in ev'ry detail 
 Like a ring you're buying retail, 
 Be a standard size that 
 Fits a standard dress. 
 Mrs. Strakosh: 
 When a girl's incidentals 
 Are no bigger than two lentils 
 Mrs. Strakosh, O' Malley and 
 Meeker: 
 Then to me that doesn't spell success. 
 

Fanny auditions for Keeney's Music Hall but Keeney kicks her out of the chorus 
because she doesn't look like the others. 
Eddie Ryan, dance director for Keeney, agrees: 

Eddie: 
 If a girl isn't pretty 
 Like a Miss Atlantic City, 
 She should dump the stage 
 And try another route. 
 Any guy who pays a quarter 
 For a seat just feels he oughter 
 See a figger that his wife can't 
 Substitute. 

 Kid, my heart ain't made of marble 
 But your rhythm's really horr'ble 
 And that map of yours just ain't no 
 Valentine. 
 Everything you got's about right, 
 But the damn thing don't come out right 
 So forget it, kid, 
 And just resign. 
 Chorus: 
 If a girl isn't pretty, 
 If a girl isn't pretty, 
 If a girl isn't pretty, 
 If a girl isn't pretty, 
 If a girl isn't pretty, 
 She should get a job, 
 Go get a job-- 
 Get any job 
 Get a weekly pay, 
 'Cause if a girl isn't pretty 
 Like a Miss Atlantic City, 
 She's a real Miss Nobody, U.S.A.