The holidays are over, I gained 20 pounds, The cats choking on tinsel, My needle stalked the ground, There are no cards in the mailbox, There's a stack of bills, Guess the holidays are over, And you're feeling ill. Have a Happy Christmas Hangover, It's the most miserable time of the year, The eggnogs made you fat, The parties are over, Except for your wacky uncle, Who is still drinking your beer. Turkey's great on Christmas, But after a whole month, Of turkey pie and stew, You start to dread lunch, Breakfast is more frightening, For all there is to eat, Is fourteen Christmas cakes, And a bag of cranberries. Have a Happy Christmas Hangover, It's the most miserable time of the year, Your uncle's in the bathroom, And granny's on the sofa, And you start to wish, That they'd just disappear. You ate too many liquor filled chocolates, Got no money left in your pockets, But at least you've got lots of, Ugly sweaters and bow ties and socks. Your skin is pale and pasty, Your energy is spent, Along with all the money, You need to pay the rent, Your children are all crying, They've broken all their toys, Is this misery, Worth one day of joy? Have a Happy Christmas Hangover, It's the most miserable time of the year, Your uncle has passed out, And granny's on the sofa, And you start to wish, That you could disappear.