Performed by adam sandler and allen covert Richie: so ya doin' good? Samantha: ya, I'm fine, how 'bout you? Richie: how good could I be? I haven't seen you in three hours. Samantha: ohhh, richie. hey richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. so if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming. Richie: ok. so look, uh, do you wanna meet at the spring fling dance thi... [she hangs up phone] [phone rings] Richie: hello? Samantha: sorry, I thought he was coming. Richie: that's ok. so, about the dance. do you wanna meet Samantha: umm, well my brother gets the car on friday nights. Richie: well that's ok, I'll come by and get you. lets say around... [she hangs up phone] Richie: come on.. [phone rings] Richie: hey. Samantha: sorry. I guess he was just going to the bathroom. Richie: that's ok. well look, uh.. what was I saying? oh yeah, should I pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin.. [she hangs up the phone again] Richie: give me a break... [phone rings] Richie: hello. Samantha: sorry. it was just my dog. Richie: hey, what's your dad's problem anyways!? why can't we talk? Samantha: he just thinks I'm on the phone too much. oh my god, uh, I gotta go. Richie: don't hang up! Samantha: richie, I can't talk! Richie: no, I'm sick of this! put your dad on the phone! I wanna talk to him. Samantha: it's not my dad. Richie: what? well, who's there? why can't you talk? Samantha: uh, just look richie, someone is here. Richie: who's there? is it a guy!? Samantha: richie! Richie: I knew it! I'll kill him! put him on the phone! Samantha: oh.. it's just.. hold on. [hands phone to guy] Richie: hey man! what the hell are you doing there!? samantha's my girl! You'd better stay away from her or I'll make you wish you were never born! Buffoon: fuckin' shit! Richie: yeah, fuckin' shit is right buddy! don't think I'm kidding around, man! I'm crazy! I'll smash your head in! I swear to god! Buffoon: one time I saw my grandmother in the shower. her bush starts above her belly button. Richie: yeah, well that's too bad! but I'm still gonna come over there and beat your face in! [richie slams down phone] Samantha: what happened? was he mad? Buffoon: my neighbor's dog has a four inch clit! Samantha: oh buffoon, you're the coolest. [whispering] I love you...
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